Post Pantry: Michael and Me, Diving for Guns in Torch Lake, and Staying out of Jail

You know those weeks when you’ve been really busy at work and you buy carryout until you’re sick of it and the refrigerator is full of unidentifiable lumps of things and the kids are crabby and hungry and you don’t really want to cook from scratch? You know those things you keep in the pantry for days just like this? Well, I keep emergency reserves in the Post Pantry – pictures with no copy, copy with no pictures, ideas sketched out but not finished. Today we pull out assorted scraps and hope to make a tasty meal.

Michael and Me

At dinner the other night, Michael Moore told me (and Wendi and Louan and about 300 other friends) about his Twelve Step Program, held in reserve for the next time he runs for political office. Unfortunately, I have lost all the notes I wrote on a napkin, but I distinctly remember that in addition to the expected provision for universal health care it included a ban on high fructose corn syrup and . . . boy I wish I could remember all of it, because it was funny AND pointed – vintage Michael. It was all in support of the Antrim Area Women Democrats – a lively bunch that is full of surprises. For example, its mere existence is a surprise to people who think of Antrim County as universally Republican. Heh heh. Stay tuned.

Every Friday I get two emails from Michael. This is not because he is my buddy (although Michael, if you are reading this, do not take offense – Miss Sadie, the Cowboy and I would be happy to be your buddies – Miss Puss could go either way – you see how she is). It is because I am a Friend of the Traverse City Film Festival and also a Volunteer for the Traverse City Film Festival. I recommend these activities. For one thing, the emails are highly entertaining. For another, the Festival brings an incredible range of films here, and shows ’em in high quality venues. If you’ve never sampled this banquet, give it a try this summer (July 29 – August 3).

Diving for guns in Torch Lake

Toward the end of May I wandered over to the Day Park with a little peaceful contemplation in mind.  It’s so nice to live in a place where you can just sit and look at the water and . . . uh-oh, what’s this?  The lane down to the boat launch is lined with an ominous collection of Official Vehicles: patrol cars, Antrim County Emergency Response Dive Team – wait, there are officers from Roscommon and Otsego and – holy cow, what’s going on?  You think they found Jimmy Hoffa in Torch Lake?  Must investigate.

OK, it turned out to be an exercise for dive teams from all over northern Michigan.  I wanted human interest stories, they wanted to talk about their new Side Scan Sonar equipment.  They were using the Side Scan to find stuff they’d planted in the lake – a wicked looking knife in a scabbard, a pistol, a soup strainer.  Huh?  Shades of Miss Scarlet in the boathouse with a – soup strainer.  I know there’s a good post in there somewhere, but as previously mentioned, I’m too tired to cook from scratch. 

Staying out of Jail

I tell you, there’s just no limit to the mischief two ladies of a Certain Age can get into in Torch Lake Township. For years now Connie Claar and I have collaborated on earnest efforts to stay straight with the IRS – not us, you understand, but the nonprofit Wilkinson Homestead Historical Society. We do a pretty good job of it if I do say so – last year the IRS confirmed the WHHS entitlement to its 501(c)(3) status, which means that your contributions to this outstanding local effort are tax deductible. This year Connie confessed that she had not yet assembled the mountain of detail necessary to file our tax return timely (May 15 for WHHS). Were we going to jail?  The entire correspondence is recapped on its own Connie and Gerry Contrive to Stay out of Jail page. 

Well.  I don’t know about you, but I feel much better for having gotten all that off my mind.